Stop complaining

Our speech under a magnifying glass

Have you ever heard that words are powerful, that they create our reality? Hence, that of “be impeccable with your words, because they create your destiny”. Imagine if the ones you use in your speech are complaints, or bad words, or negative criticism. Complaining is an annoyance, both for you and for the listener, and if your interlocutor is a significant number of people in charge at work, more responsibility for you. Complaints are nothing but negative energy and are counterproductive. To move forward in work and in life we have to eliminate excess load, like the heavy backpack that complaints represent.

Why do we complain?

The main reason why we complain is that we feel insecure, impotent, frustrated or unable to do something, and in the end, the practice becomes a habit. To be a survivor (in the sense of being very “alive”) in today’s world, it is imperative that we break this ugly custom.

The complaints at work

I no longer want to hear in my work environment as two employees who are working together, criticize the company during the task, and when one retires the one that is left starts to speak ill of the first one. This attitude has to be corrected immediately. It is inadmissible that 24 hours after an incident we continue talking negatively about it. Develop the positive habit of self-observing and when you discover yourself in such behavior, change the chip, leave the anger, you have to keep working and your attitude here will greatly influence the rest of your day. If there’s something you do not like about your life, maybe you should change it, and if you can´t, maybe you should try to accept it. Do it and you will see how the whole environment begins to become more friendly.

Complaining less

Ironically, the first step to achieve this is to look at ourselves. We need to identify the people who influence us and encourage us to complain. It is not necessary to go very far, they are usually in our closest environment. Here, an exercise: imagine a triangle at whose ends family, friendships, and work, are located, and then focus on improving in one of them. You will be surprised to see how it has a positive effect on the other two. The environment molds us and affects us because we develop within it, but we can choose not to be swept away by a focus of unconscious and external negativity. It is proven that almost all our conversations encourage criticism. For every “well done” we hear, there are six others of the type: “why can´t you be more like your brother?!”; “What you do drives me crazy!”; “Is that you never listen to me?”; “you cannot…”; “Wrong, wrong!!”… Does any of this sound like it? Pay attention and identify who among the people around you complain more than twenty times in a day and, walk away.

But be honest and admit that many times the person who complains most in your world is no other than yourself. We usually speak without conscience and we do not listen to ourselves, but if we could review what we say in a day on a tape recorder …

If the center of negativity is in a job that you are obliged to share each day, the task of creating a good environment may seem more difficult, but not if you strive to stay in the positive pole, which will end up polarizing towards your attitude even the most bitter. The trick is to change your perception of the situation. Speak exclusively in a positive way. By identifying and bringing the process to consciousness, you are above negativity, then your complaining partner will no longer be able to continue expressing himself in those terms. Believe me, a few weeks in this exercise have the power to completely change your reality.

Be part of the solution

It is better than being part of the problem. If you perceive yourself or other people complaining, stop and analyze the situation, by taking a step back and refusing to participate, you are on the side of the solution. If you manage to stay there, you will see how the others stop complaining, try it. Most people do not want to listen to anyone’s complaints, they already have enough with their problems, not because of lack of solidarity or interest, that is simply human nature. Do not let yourself be flooded with pessimism by joining a chorus of negativity. If you put another person’s load on your shoulders, you will not be helping him at all. The best way to help improve the lives of those around you is to make sure that you are happy yourself. To change a negative situation always keep an optimistic appearance, directed to the action. If you have to go to school to study, stand up, get presentable and apply. Provide ideas instead of joining complaints, as tempting as this may be. In addition, optimists live longer and take heart problems away from their bodies.

Whenever you face a challenge, try to remember “it’s part of the ride”. We don´t want to leave behind a trail of negative comments and complaints. If you trace your legacy about pessimism, you will give a very bad impression of yourself, both today and tomorrow. And most important, the complaints undermine your ability to live the here and now.

A complaining boss will be a leader that nobody will want to follow. People are naturally attracted to those who inspire hope. Inevitably, the leader who forges a scenario full of chronic pessimists will fail to direct them. Anyone can offer complaints or criticism, but those who offer solutions are those who think differently from the rest and become true leaders. Stand out!

Don´t stop participating with your anecdotes, stories, and memories of a life in the business, sharing them makes us all learn.

Thanks, Xavi.

“I complained that I did not have shoes until I met a man who had no feet” Indian proverb